What are you appraised for?

I often read posts and blogs of women discussing their failed relationships. They are often upset a man has 'used' them and 'left' them. They lament of their loss. They consider list all they gave and cry about they did not receive. No matter the situation, their stories are often the same. Cookie-cutter. Classic. Repeated. Familiar.

Rarely have I seen such a post from men. Yes, I have heard stories of such post and stories. I have even had a few guys call to discuss their woes. Even in their pain, there is still a woman's story hidden beneath the layers.

At the core of these situations, I have found one thing to be true.

Lesson: Men know their value. Woman are waiting to be appraised.

Practice quiz: Locate a successful man. He does not have to be making a certain amount or living a certain way; however, he must be employed, mentally stable, good family relationships, and has a good circle of liked-minded friends. When you find this man ask him one question: When was the last time you lowered your standards for a woman?

The majority of men will scuff at such a comment. It is because men understand how to hold, play and deal the cards in their relationship. They know what they have and how to use what they have to get what they want. They understand their power. They understand what is inside of them. They also understand in order to obtain a similar equally yoked specimen of the opposite sex, they must show themselves valuable.

Some women, on the other hand, allow ourselves to be defined by someone else. We change our language, way of life, the foods we eat, the places we go, the people we are around, and even our character to match that of a man. We allow ourselves to be objectified, used, and even abused to avoid being alone. As if the presence of a male in our home increases our appraised value. Our value increases when we are in relationships and just as a car when it leaves the dealership, a used sign is displayed when new ownership takes over.

What can we learn from this?

Never let anyone determine your value. Know your value and it will change your company.