American Idol v2

Okay. Night two and we are in Atlanta. A couple of things which are sure to be different from Boston: Black people and drama. I know someone is going to get arrested. Let’s see who it will be. Mary J Blige is the guest judge and Dawone Robinson is up first. I am questioning the age limit. Maybe it’s the fro or the shirt or the dancing or ….well, something isn’t right. No, it’s the pleated pants. Oh no. He is going to sing an original song. His song is called “Lady we are not together anymore”. Now we know why. Moving on. This next dude said he was good at the high notes. He got the ‘high’ part right. Keia Johnson in to save the day. Of course she is from Memphis but the colors and hair scared me. The voice made me smile. Maybe by the time she gets to Hollywood someone will donate some human hair weave.Wait, all the people who came with her and they couldn’t get enough money for human hair! I am done.

Miriam sounded good as well by I felt a Twilight spirit when she opened her month. Noel brought it home too but Tisha Holland from Riverdale, GA made me sit up. Not only did she have good human hair weave, she could sing! Who else could sing? Jermaine Sellers! I am sure some of you are saying to yourself, ‘That name sounds familiar’. You are correct. Jermaine was 4th runner up on BET Sunday Best competition the first season. He has been on Bobby Jones and a Celebration of Gospel. Check out his MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/jermainesellers. Oh yeah, Jermaine represented gospel well. Thanks. Oh, and Mary said ‘anointed’.

What’s the 411? It’s not Christy Marie. She tried to sing Pat Benatar. What good can we say about her audition? I loved her style. The colors were on point and she rocked the jeans with stilettos. Who was definitely not wearing stilettos? Vanessa Wolf from Vonore, TN. After watching this country girl say she is trapped in her small town, I was happy she was wearing shoes. After the judges gave her the golden ticket, you know what happened? Clarence cried. Dang, I guess I gotta support her too. Wait. She is running away and guess what? She has no shoes on. I knew it!

What else did I know? That Jesse Hamilton should have stayed in the woods. How can you come to AI and not remember your song? And did he just have a minor breakdown? No, that’s Mary. And is he asking the judging to start the song for him? He is. Wait. He is from Anniston. I love Anniston. If you ever go, check out Top of the River. The food is on point. Wait. As if Anniston was not enough, we have Holly from Rockmart. Now, let me let you on a secret. I use to live about 5 minutes from Rockmart and what do I have to represent us? A girl dressed as a guitar. Thanks, Holly.

Lathan, who I am unable to determine male or female, leads the back of bad singers in the next segment. Mallorie breaks the cycle but Mary J is looking like ‘please, no more country!’. If you don’t believe me, look at the clip. But, forget watching Mary J. You must watch Skybos..Ski…Skii…whatever. Antonio! He cant spell his name but at least he can sing. He said it’s a package deal because he runs a Dollar Store. Ha ha ha ha ha. More funny than that was the look on Carmen’s face when she watched her BFF, Lauren, audition. Carmen knew that girl couldn’t sing. But who could sing? Brian Walker! That PO PO came on there and sung him some Superstar! But how are you going to have a bald spot and a mohawk at the same time?

So, go from a really good high moment to a really really low moment in Lamar Royal. Its like watching someone cars driving no black ice. You know its not going to wreck but you watch anyone. He actually had good but his Tourette’s Syndrome took over. Okay, he is arging with the judges and still singing. La la la la la la. That song will never be the same for me. He has killed it. He is going to get arrested. I see it coming. There they go. Security is there. I knew it! But the people clapping from the car did it!

We are in the last minutes of the show and we have General Pants..sorry, I mean Platts. He has a good message: Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. With that gold in your mouth, hat turned to the side. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. Yep. That’s the song. How much you want to bet he will be on the finale singing this song. Sing it with me America! Pants on the ground. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. With that gold in your mouth, hat turned to the side. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.