Tennessee Trip

Last weekend we went to Tennessee to my family reunion. As with all family reunions, you mentally prepare yourself. We first realized we needed a very good hotel room. Truth be told, we really didn't plan on attending all the activities. I just really wanted to see my mom and brother, who were also planning on being at the reunion. We called the Holiday Inn first. My family use to stay there all the time when I was a kid and I remembered the great suites. So, we call them and ask a few very important questions.
1. Do you have room service?
2. Have your rooms been renovated recently?
3. Do you still have the suites with a detached living room and kitchen?

They answered all the questions with yes. We then called Double Tree. We asked the same questions. Unfortunately, the answer to number three was no. Because we were planning on spending a lot of time with family in our room, we wanted the extra space. Also, we always work while we are out of the office and we needed the extra room for laptops, printers, phones, etc. Oh, and Clarence needed space for the Xbox.

So, we reserved a room at Holiday Inn. We actually paid for the room in advance. Upon arriving at the hotel, it looked the same as I remembered. It was still spacious with the lounge in the middle and a stacked bar. As a kid, we would go and take up all the bar room asking for grape juice and sprite. LOL

Anyway, we take the elevator up to the fourth floor. I first notice the couches near the elevators. They look familiar. Could they be the same couches from the 1990s? No, couldn't be. Must be the same color. We arrive at our room and the wonderful breeze of the air conditioner hits us. We walk in, throw our bags down and then turn the lights on. What is this? Couldn't be? Yes, it is. Its the same furniture I remember from the 1990s. The same couch, lamps, tables, and even the same TV. Say its not so! Certainly they have plasma by now! No, they do not. Wait, I see something new. Yes, it is new. Finally. New lampshades and energy efficient bulbs. Way to go green, Holiday Inn. I finally realized. This is not a failure to renovate, this is a way to conserve our resources.

I call Chris, the front desk clerk.

Me: Chris?
Chris: Yes, do you like your room?
Me: I have been here before.
Chris: Oh, have you stayed in that room before?
Me: I don't know about the room but the couch, tables, lamps, and dresser have followed me from the 1990s. And this room is tiny. I need space. Where is the kitchen? Where is the dining room table?
Chris: Laughs
Me: I need an upgrade. What do you have?
Chris: Well, I do have a better room. But it's expensive.
Me: How much more?
Chris: $10 a night.
Me: (thinking to myself) Do I look that broke!?
Me: (to Chris) We will take it.
Chris: It's on the smoking floor.
Me: They still have those. I thought hotels were smoke free.
Chris: Laughs
Me: What room?
Chris: I will have the bell boy bring up the key.

So, we get the key and travel down two floors. We arrive to our new room (trying not to die on the smell). What awaits us? Yes! Bigger. Table. KitchenETTE. SAME FURNITURE. You have got to be kidding me. What also awaits? Two queen beds. I am married. I can sleep in KING beds now. But, we give up and take it.

We go to check out the hotel and talk to the manager about their environmentally conscience decorations (old). While we are talking, an Indian (dot, not feathers) woman is having an argument with another lady. She approaches the front desk and ask to use their phone to call to Dallas. They refuse her saying she cant make a long distance call. We try to reach the number from our cell phones. They didn't answer. What was the reason the hotel wouldn't let her call? She has been outside asking for money. Yeah. Okay.

We go outside to our car. As I am about to take pictures, I see a few ants on the door. I follow the ants trail and I see a HUGE amount of ants all over the front of the car. Of course, I am going crazy. I look inside the car and there are ants all over my seat. I am itching, jumping up and down, screaming. Yes, I went overboard. Clarence moves me out the way and start wiping ants out of the car. Apparently we parked in an ant hill.

Why am I itching just typing this?

Clarence tells me to get in so we can go vacuum the car. I refuse to get in the car. Finally, after I don't see any immediate ants on the seat, I jump in the back seat on the drivers side. We go to the dollar store to get ant spray. I used an entire bottle. They were everywhere. We then drive to a vacuum to get all the little dead ants out. It was horrible.

The night before we purchased a room online with priceline.com for our Memphis stay. We stayed at the downtown Marriott for $75. The rooms are normally $160. We park the car in the underground parking garage, unload all the bags, and head to the front desk. What is between us and the front desk. Escalators. Why is this an issue? I discover Clarence as a phobia of escalators. What happens? No, you cant guess this one. I get on the escalator first. I am at the top, waiting on Clarence. I am coaching him to put the bags on first, then step behind them. What happens? He lets go of the bags, steps on the escalator and hold on for dear life. Where are the bags? On the floor at the bottom of the escalator. What is in one of his bags? His Xbox. What do I have to do? Walk down the other side (which is not working) to retrieve the bags and ride back up. Yes. I am serious.

We arrive in our room and its nice. Nothing huge but nice. We make plans that didn't work out but decide to go ahead and enjoy our evening. We leave the hotel and spend the evening at a music festival and Beale Street. I will reveal more about that later.

So, I get back to Marriott and we find the elevators have been shut down after 11p. Are you kidding me? This is a hotel located a mile from Beale Street, attached to the Convention Center, near the baseball stadium, and you shut things down after 11p? How does that work? We wonder around the garage trying to find a way to our room. We finally find an elevator that will work. Where does it take us? The convention centers were the members of the National Baptist Convention are setting up for their conference.

We cant wait to upload my pictures on Facebook. Something is wrong. My laptop wont connect to the internet. I check the connection again and try again. It keeps bringing me to the Marriott's website. I call the nice people downstairs and advise them of my issues. Guess what? I have to pay for the internet. No, not just the internet, but for phone calls as well. Are you serious? Motel 6 has free WIFI and the Marriott doesn't? So, being the computer junkie we are, we pay $6 for unlimited internet. We refused to pay for phone calls. We have cell phones.

The next morning we hear banging on the door. What time is it? What is going on? Is there a problem? It's 9am. Wait, I hear someone opening the door, or at least trying to. It is the cleaning staff trying to get in. Check out is not until noon. Why are you bothering me at 9a? Clarence yells from the bed 'Go away. We are not ready to leave'. Does it work? Of course not. 10a. 11a. 11:30a. Knock. Knock. Key in. Door opens. Chain blocks. Yes, they continue to try to get in the room. What part of NOON does no one understand?

So, we pack to leave Memphis. Downstairs, we remember our issue. How does one get back to the garage without attempting the escalators. We try the elevator and find it does not work. We try another set. They do not work. Wait, what about the convention center elevators? No way through the crowd. The Baptist have taken over. Guess what we did? Yes, the escalators. Clarence went first, leaving the bags behind. I send the bags down for him to get off. Does he? Of course not. He was celebrating his victory of his escalator decent.

What did we learn from this trip? Do you NOT always get what you pay for!