3/5 Human? Seriously?

So. This is what happened. Yesterday. September. 2009. Seriously. At work. No kidding.

I was preparing to leave for the day when a representative approached with a customer issue. The customer was demanding to speak with a 'manager who was a non black woman'. Initially, I laughed. I thought to myself 'Self, this is September. 2009. At work. Couldn't be.' I contemplated my choices. Should I stay at work longer, take this escalation, or go home and forget I had heard such statements? I looked at the representative who had answered the call. The young lady could not have been more than 20 years old. She had a blank look on her face. It was one of those 'Is this happening to me?' looks.

I had to take the call. If for no other reason, I had to do it for the young lady who had taken the call.

Let me back up and say this: I don't take calls. I don't take escalations. This is not apart of my job. It would be expected I ignore the escalation.

I take the headset from the representative, settle in for what I believe is going to be a long call, and say into the phone, "Hello. This is Rita Prior. How may I be of assistance to you?"

No kidding. This is some of what transpired.

Caller: Is that thing on the phone?
Me: This is Rita. How may I assist you?
Caller: I said, is that thing still on the phone?
Me: This is Rita. How may I assist you?
Caller: I pay my bill every month. I decide who I talk to. You do not decide who I talk to. I refuse to talk to that thing. She is not even human.
Me: How may I assist you with your device issue?
Caller: Transfer me to technical support.
Me: I understand your frustration when your device is not working properly. I will be happy to assist you. What exactly is the device doing, or not doing?
Caller: Just transfer me.
Me: I will be happy to transfer you. Prior to you speaking with another department, I need to fully understand the issue to ensure I connect you with someone who is able to resolve your issue.
Caller: You don't tell me who I can speak to. I tell you. Transfer me.
Me: I will get someone on the line now. Please explain what you are experiencing with your device.
Caller: Are you one of them?
Me: One of who?
Caller: One of those things. Like the one I was just talking to.
Me: My name is Rita. Please explain the issue you are having with your device.
Caller: You are one of those things. How dare you tell me who I can speak with. You are not even human. You are 3/5 human. Didn't you read the Constitution? Can you even read? You are a thing. You are a black woman. Black women are slothful and ignorant. You will not tell me who I can speak with. I am the human. Not you. Transfer me now, you thing!
Me: Please explain the issue you are having with your device.
Caller: You thing! You will transfer me now! You are ignorant. You are stupid. You are not human. How can a non human tell a human what to do? I will always tell you what to do. Transfer me now.

|Sidenote| At this point, I look at the young lady who originally took the call. I can see in her eyes I had to maintain this for her. I had to show her it is possible to overcome this type of ignorance.

Me: Mrs. _________, as I stated previously, I am able to transfer you to another department but not before knowing what issue you have.
Caller: I can not send picture messages, you thing.
Me: How long as this been a problem?
Caller: Since I bought the phone three months ago, you slothful, ignorant thing.
Me: Tell me exactly what happens when you attempt to send a message.
Caller: I will not talk to a non human. I want to talk to technical support now. You are the worst, ignorant, slothful, 3/5 human person I have ever talked to. You are beneath me. You are thing.

|The phone does dead|

Note to self: You are the author of the only dictionary able to define you.