Irritated

I find myself in an uncomfortable position. I am irritated. The issue is finding the source of this irritation. Is it because my allergies are keeping me from resting? Is it because I was awaken from a semi-sleep with great promises? Is it because people are truly showing who they really are this weak (not a misspelling)? Is it because my mother's last day of work at Chrysler was yesterday? Is it because my brother is attempting to manage the pain of losing a dear friend? Or, better yet, could it be it is after midnight and I am hungry. Nope, that couldn't be it (it probably is).

There are many things I am not (or attempt not to be). I am not:

• ignorant
• false
• unworthy
• uneducated
• mean
• inconsiderate
• vindictive
• uncaring
• void of compassion
• talent-less
• manipulative
• coveter
• selfish
• unethical
  

to name a few.

One of the main goals in my life is to be transparent. What you see is what you get? I do not like people attempting to pull the strings of situations/people to fit their personal agendas. I do not like to see people fight for something meant for them, only to be held back due to the selfish motives of others. I want people to know why I make the decisions I make. I want people to understand the purpose of my actions. I desire my words to be precursors of my actions. They must be seamless. They must coincide with each other. If they don't, I fail. I fail to reach the goal of Him which has created me.

Each day more and more people are striving for things which should be easily accessible. People are waking up without food, water, and even required medications. People are home sick and dying due to the inability to afford healthcare. People who wok everyday attempt to stay 'legit' in a word of corruption. People are suffering from the abuse and pain afflicted by other hurt people who suffered from the hurt and pain of other hurt people (I pray you followed that). Some people are so blind by their own situations (understandably), they are oblivious to the smoldering world around them.

I pray I am never so consumed with me I fail to see you.

I pray in my search to get to where I am, I didn't step on someone's dream, destiny, plan or goal. I pray the paths I have taken have been those created for me, not those created by me. I pray my fight to deliverance did not leave someone still in the ring. In all my giving, I pray I gave to the right people, at the right times, in the right seasons. Only then will I receive back. No, I do not want back what I gave. It wasn't meant for me. I want more of Him. More of what He wants for my life.

I desire to be relevant. My goal is to forever be linked to my power source so others may plug in, get the needed power to continue their course. I never want to find an alternative source. A hybrid won't do. I need the real thing. The needs I have cannot be satisfied with money, position, titles, food, sex, travel, or even a smile. These needs only come through deep internal revelation of who I am. Not who Rita is. Rita is unimportant. It's who is in Rita which matters. Who gives the direction. Who provides the resources. Who leads the way. I must be so in-tune with the Who in me I am never thwarted. I must be focused on the Who so the 'hows' matter not. It's only then, when the Who is in me matched with His own power, am I able to create continue to keep doors open so others may follow and/or find the inspiration to open their own.

It matters not the plans and methods of others. It matters not how pure the intentions are. It matters not the conversations and schemes meant to alter the course. The course I run has already been ran for me. I am just following the leader.

And guess what happens in the end? Irritation gone.

Good night.

Priorities

I talked to an associate today lamenting about his job and the woes thereof. I realized a few things:

1. Priorities are a must
2. Work is never #1
3. Never expect people to do what you wont

It's a good day.

Today was a very good day. I often hear people talk about how they hate Mondays. I refuse to fall into that trap. It is a self created trap. I have learned I affect the outcomes of my circumstances. Even if crazy stuff happens, I do not have to allow it to affect my mood, thought pattern, or attitude. I went to bed last night with success on my mind. I achieved success today.

Now, if only I could create success in the sleep department. Ahhhhhhhhhh. I see it!

Celebrate life!

I am so excited about my birthday. I am excited every birthday. When I tell people how old I am, they are shocked I am excited about getting older. When I turned 30, I made sure everyone knew. Turning 31 and 32 were no different. Why should I change for 33? I often wonder why people are afraid of embracing age. Age is a beautiful thing. Consider the alternative.

My childhood was a blessing. I was surrounded by my grandmother for most if it. I know everyone loves their grandmother, however, I am bias. Lena S. H. Taylor is the best grandmother created on earth (you have a right to disagree). She taught me patience, humility, humbleness, and quiet strength. She never said much in the open but would talk about God, blessing, holiness, and family love all day. Either I lived with her or she lived with me most of first 18 years of my life. I believe we shared a bond unlike any others she or I shared with others.

As I traveled on in life, my 20s were met with DRAMA! At 23, I had a stroke. Well, that's what the doctors called it. I woke up one day with little eye sight. I went through some crazy surgeries and a stay in ICU. To God be the glory, I am yet alive with partial sight. It could have been so much worst. I survived that, a few relationships, and many jobs.

I have made plenty of crazy decisions in my life. I have done some crazy things. No matter how crazy I thought them to be, I have met people who have made life changing decisions. Some things people have been through are mind blowing. I have met people who have been rejected by their families, people who have lost loved ones to drugs, disease, and crime. I have met people who have experienced more before the age of 10 than most of us have experienced to date. The point is, I have met them. They are survivors. I celebrate their life with my life. We have an internal fighter inside us. The fighter inside us refuses to allow us to hide in the darkness of sin. This fighter keeps us alive. This fighter keeps our mind while everything in us says to go crazy.

Some people struggle with celebrating life when they are unable to create life. When Clarence and I were married, everyone started asking about kids. You know, people should really think before they ask questions. Most of the world assumes having kids is as easy as having sex. I guess it would seem to be so with the number of children created in the world, however, it is not so. The first time the doctors advised children may not be in my future, my mind immediately went to all the friends, family members, associates, etc who have children or aborted children they didn't plan or want. I started to actually get upset and feel they didn't deserve their kids. Note: All is well. I have repented. I know children are a blessing no matter who the parent is :)

Infertility is emotional! Some woman say it feels like a death of a child they always dreamed of having. Some say it’s a feeling of loss. Some are angry at life, mothers, and even children. It’s a silent hurt. I have met some people who hurt and long so much for a child they can’t celebrate the birth of children. They avoid places with children. It’s a lesson to us all. Never assume to know what another person is going through.

I am sure everyone has seen the many news stories where women steal babies and even kill the birth mothers. That is a rare extremity. Infertility does hurt, but it won't kill you (and it's not suppose to kill anyone else). I embrace celebrating life. I celebrate life because it is precious. Not everyone can create life but everyone can celebrate it. I am not angry, depressed, nor jealous of those who can create life. Hey, maybe someone will create life for me one day!

33 years in the world is 33 years of life lessons. 33 is a master number. 33 is powerful. 33 is a force to be reckoned with. I gave God back His words. 2 Corinthians 2:9 says “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him". Because I love Him, I know all will work out for the good!

I will forever celebrate life. No matter the number, God is still a provider. I am excited about 33 and I will be excited about 34, 35, 36...... I celebrate life because THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT!

But God!

Welcome to 'The Writer's Project'

For the past 20 years, my endeavor has been to express myself in writing. Words change the world. Words can heal. Words can hurt. Words can make you smile, cry, laugh, and even love. Words have power beyond what is thought, interpreted, or even considered. The power of words commenced at 'In the beginning...' and there is no end. As long as there is a word, there is hope.

I write for many purposes. Sometimes it is just to get something out of my head so I can move on. There are times when my words have arrows meant to pierce the mind (or heart) of the reader. There is no box in my world. I am open to receive words as they come. It is never my goal to hurt anyone, however, there is truth in words. I will never say the truth does not hurt at times.

There are so many dimensions to who I am. I am more than a wife, daughter, sister, friend, cousin, etc. I am a woman on a mission. What is the mission? I introduce, The Writer's Project.

What is the TWP? It's the thoughts, revelations, insights, dreams, humor, news, updates and more...of a writer. This is how I communicate. This is how I open myself to the world. If you want to know me. Get to know TWP. I do not want you to be disappointed. This will not be updated with bible studies and spiritual revelations everyday. I live in a world complete with hilarious moments and paradox reflections. If nothing else, I love to laugh.

I only have two request:
1. Do not judge me
2. Positive comments only (there is a way to say everything)

1 Peter 1:25 | But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.