American Idol v2

Okay. Night two and we are in Atlanta. A couple of things which are sure to be different from Boston: Black people and drama. I know someone is going to get arrested. Let’s see who it will be. Mary J Blige is the guest judge and Dawone Robinson is up first. I am questioning the age limit. Maybe it’s the fro or the shirt or the dancing or ….well, something isn’t right. No, it’s the pleated pants. Oh no. He is going to sing an original song. His song is called “Lady we are not together anymore”. Now we know why. Moving on. This next dude said he was good at the high notes. He got the ‘high’ part right. Keia Johnson in to save the day. Of course she is from Memphis but the colors and hair scared me. The voice made me smile. Maybe by the time she gets to Hollywood someone will donate some human hair weave.Wait, all the people who came with her and they couldn’t get enough money for human hair! I am done.

Miriam sounded good as well by I felt a Twilight spirit when she opened her month. Noel brought it home too but Tisha Holland from Riverdale, GA made me sit up. Not only did she have good human hair weave, she could sing! Who else could sing? Jermaine Sellers! I am sure some of you are saying to yourself, ‘That name sounds familiar’. You are correct. Jermaine was 4th runner up on BET Sunday Best competition the first season. He has been on Bobby Jones and a Celebration of Gospel. Check out his MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/jermainesellers. Oh yeah, Jermaine represented gospel well. Thanks. Oh, and Mary said ‘anointed’.

What’s the 411? It’s not Christy Marie. She tried to sing Pat Benatar. What good can we say about her audition? I loved her style. The colors were on point and she rocked the jeans with stilettos. Who was definitely not wearing stilettos? Vanessa Wolf from Vonore, TN. After watching this country girl say she is trapped in her small town, I was happy she was wearing shoes. After the judges gave her the golden ticket, you know what happened? Clarence cried. Dang, I guess I gotta support her too. Wait. She is running away and guess what? She has no shoes on. I knew it!

What else did I know? That Jesse Hamilton should have stayed in the woods. How can you come to AI and not remember your song? And did he just have a minor breakdown? No, that’s Mary. And is he asking the judging to start the song for him? He is. Wait. He is from Anniston. I love Anniston. If you ever go, check out Top of the River. The food is on point. Wait. As if Anniston was not enough, we have Holly from Rockmart. Now, let me let you on a secret. I use to live about 5 minutes from Rockmart and what do I have to represent us? A girl dressed as a guitar. Thanks, Holly.

Lathan, who I am unable to determine male or female, leads the back of bad singers in the next segment. Mallorie breaks the cycle but Mary J is looking like ‘please, no more country!’. If you don’t believe me, look at the clip. But, forget watching Mary J. You must watch Skybos..Ski…Skii…whatever. Antonio! He cant spell his name but at least he can sing. He said it’s a package deal because he runs a Dollar Store. Ha ha ha ha ha. More funny than that was the look on Carmen’s face when she watched her BFF, Lauren, audition. Carmen knew that girl couldn’t sing. But who could sing? Brian Walker! That PO PO came on there and sung him some Superstar! But how are you going to have a bald spot and a mohawk at the same time?

So, go from a really good high moment to a really really low moment in Lamar Royal. Its like watching someone cars driving no black ice. You know its not going to wreck but you watch anyone. He actually had good but his Tourette’s Syndrome took over. Okay, he is arging with the judges and still singing. La la la la la la. That song will never be the same for me. He has killed it. He is going to get arrested. I see it coming. There they go. Security is there. I knew it! But the people clapping from the car did it!

We are in the last minutes of the show and we have General Pants..sorry, I mean Platts. He has a good message: Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. With that gold in your mouth, hat turned to the side. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. Yep. That’s the song. How much you want to bet he will be on the finale singing this song. Sing it with me America! Pants on the ground. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground. With that gold in your mouth, hat turned to the side. Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Celebration of Gospel review (this aint church yall)

The unofficial theme for Celebration of Gospel 2010 is ‘Bringing the Sexy Back!’. The show started off with Fred Hammond. It seems he has finally accepted his hair lost and cut it off. Kelly Price came on stage and she seems to have embraced her hips because she has plenty of them. Gotta love a woman confident in whom she is. As always, Shirley Caesar blessed us with her presence for a ‘remix’ of Awesome God. After a break Steve Harvey takes the stage. It seems he is finally comfortable in his role as host and brought the ‘world’ to the church. Well, that’s not true. There isn’t a big difference anymore. Sidenote: I am getting tired of hearing Steve talk about how surprised people are he is hosting a gospel show. Why would anyone be surprised? We see hypocrites everyday. I didn’t mean that. Yes I did. No, I didn’t. That was mean. He’s not really a hypocrite. Well, is he? We will discuss later! I digress!

Back to the show. Yolanda declared she has the Victory and she was the poster child for being the sexy back to the church. I like Yolanda. She doesn’t make any excuses for who she is, what she does, or how she acts. I still don’t know if she had on a sweater or a dress but either way, it was cute. After Yolanda performed Anthony Hamilton and wife made their COG debut. Hmmmm. As the song says, Better! Speaking of better, what the heck was Bobby Jones thinking? Why was he out there with that mess on? Looked like a choir director trying to escape the bubblewrap closet. Punt intended. Now, for the most ridiculous part of the show: did anyone ever find out what the heck Y’anna Crawley had on? It’s a purple bedazzled Star Trek ensemble. I was always taught when one is ministering not to have anything distracting to ensure people don’t get caught up in things. I was caught up in those shoulder missiles on her dress.
To try to redeem the show Kelly Price and Ledisi come out to sing ‘How Great Thou Art’. Kelly was bringing the sexy back a bit too in a pant suit. It was tailored to a perfect fit. It hit wanted it needed and everything stayed in place. It seemed for a moment Ledisi didn’t do her homework on Kelly. She seemed shocked at Kelly’s vocal abilities. I refuse to call either one a beast. Sidenote: When did the church begin the label everything with a negative title. Beast, bad, sick, etc. Again, I digress.

BeBe and CeCe did not attempt to bring sexy back. Yall know CeCe is too anointed for that foolishness. Can we have a bible study? Prayer meeting? A healing service? If so, CeCe will show up. Fashion show anyone? No, call Vicki for that one. If you need a pretty good youth group you can call the next group. I cant think of their name but they are very….choreographed. What is not choreographed is Pastor Shirley. No matter how crazy the show tries to get, they ensure Pastor Shirley shows up to keep things legit. She is probably the reason the show is still on. Someone has to be praying. Speaking of praying, James Fortune encouraged us to trust God. The song is great but I got distracted by his background singers. One girl put on a sho nuff show for the cameras. I hope Tyler Perry was watching. She did her audition. They brought Fred Hammond back to remind us to wait on the Lord.

Up next is the award for performance of the show: Fantasia and her mother. Now, we all know Fantasia can sing. She starts the song by removing her shoes. Now, maybe its me but if I am going to spend that much money on some shoes, I am going to wear them. Oh, I digressed again. Well, since I started, let me finish. When will people stop straddling the fence? We all know its not as much money in gospel as R&B but I believe God will keep you when you stay in His will. Fantasia will do good in gospel with a few lessons. Lesson number one: when you wear a dress above your needs, keep both feet on the ground unless you picking them up and putting them down in a dance. Thank goodness for a good camera angle because we missed a very obscene view of her special places. Okay, moving on.

Does anyone know how old Rance Allen is? How can he still hit those notes? But, I think I have it figured it. I think one night Rance was at GE Patterson’s church singing and forgot the words. He didn’t want Bishop upset with him so he started making up weird sounds in place of the forgotten words. Everyone liked it so he kept it. Listen to him. You will see for yourself. After Rance was done, I was done. I can listen to Tye but I cannot watch Tye. I have an issue when worship must be choreographed. Now, don’t get me wrong. You want things to look right and there is a theatrical portion of music which is needed but where is the line? I fast forward.

Now, I dedicate this paragraph to Steve Harvey. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Steve has had an encounter with favor and blessings and its real to him. He went on TBN and talked to Donnie about his transforming life. He talked about how the church talks down on him and doesn’t understand his struggle. I feel him on that. Peoeple would be surprised if they knew what really went on in the lives of pastors, leaders, and public figures So, Donnie is singing ‘We fall down’. What is Steve doing? You guessed it! Steve is crying. Luke 9:62 says "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." This means once you know better and step up to do His work, if you turn your back, you are not fit to serve God. Well. Wait. Let me stop. Marvin is singing. Marvin said ‘It doesn’t matter what I did for He only sees me for who I am’. Okay, Marvin. I got you. God loves us in spite of ourselves. Although He loves us doesn’t negate our responsibility to do better once we know better. Okay, wait. Steve is crying again. He should be crying. I would be crying to. We all fall short of the glory but guess what? We get up and keep trying. I hope he remembers that during his next performance. Pray for him. Oh, and pray for those shoes his wife had one. I cant decide how I feel about them. Hmmmm.

Donald Lawrence ends the show with be reminding us to get back to Eden. Now, I have thought about that. Eden was good for a while but I need to know what part of Eden we will be going back to. I want to go pre-Eve vs Serpent Eden. You can keep that ‘post-serpent’ Eden. Okay, I am done good people. The show was good. Yolanda and sisters brought sexy back, Kelly Price reminded us she still has it, BeBe & CeCe kept it holy, Pastor Shirley took us to church, Steve didn’t cuss, and at the very end..when everything seemed okay…Steve cried again!

American Idol v1

Today is a great day. It’s the first night of American Idol. I have been waiting on this day for almost six months. So, I get ready. I put my iPhone and Blackberry far away because I need to concentrate. First up is Boston. Within the first 10 minutes we have our first crier. Come on people. MAN UP! This is not a crying game. And plus, who sounds good while singing? We get Victoria Beckham on the scene. I am a bit disturbed by the lace on her head. Did her garter get caught up or something? It just looks weird. First contestant is Janet. Janet cannot sing, keeps jumping, and apparently shrunk her shirt in the dryer because it doesn’t cover her gut. She sings some song about a pocket full of sunshine. It’s more like a pocket full of shame. Then we have Maddy. She will be known as the girl with the Down’s Syndrome siblings. Pat Ford shows up yelling about ‘Holla’. His last name is Ford but his first name aint Frankie and aint nobody ‘holla-ing’ back.

A bit later we get Mr. Jersey Shore..sorry, I mean this Italian dude who had way too much male bonding excitement. Ms. Kimono flew in and tried to make herself cry. Let me check. Wait. Wait. There it is....no. I lied. No tears. Luke came and saved the day followed by Benjamin. Andrew, however, kills the mood. For the first time ever, I regret my new TV purchase. His eyes were so big on this TV it scared me. He tried to be sarcastic but only proved why he is an unemployed musician. I was done with him until Kara said she wanted to give him a spanking? Really, Kara? This is primetime not Real Sex!

Ashley sings Alicia Keyes and gets a 3.25 on a 5 point scale. Her shoes, however, get a 5! 70s guy Tyler comes with both arms in braces trying to get a sympathy vote. Luckily he can sing because we are done with sympathy and empathy. Lisa tried to sing Vision of Love but it ended up being a Vision of Hate. They show an Asian guy who I am pretty sure was staged. I refuse to believe he is really there to sing. But, when all else fails, Mike Davis comes in and saves the day with a 3.5. He is followed by Katie, AKA Alzheimer's granddaughter. She also doesn’t need a sympathy vote because she gets the highest vote of the night with a 3.75. Joshua just sounds pretty and Boso (AKA The Nigerian) both perform pretty good. Between them was Nerberto. Not only can he not sing, he has on a sequence vest. Yes. He did. Anyway, back to Bosa. I am pretty sure he is Akeem from Zamunda and his dad is King Jaffe.

We end the show with Antwon. One look at Antwon and I saw church. They dont show him sing but he calls his own benediction at the end with a resounding YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I was ready for the rest of the contestants to help him out but I am thinking they arent COGIC. I was with Antwon. I really liked Antwon. But. It’s always a but. But, he blew it at the end. As he is leaving, he jumps into the air with a perfect split. Choir director?

2010 Goals

I started this on Facebook already but since I am making a new commitment to blogging, it should be here as well.

I am starting 2010 with goals. My goals are accomplish-able and only require dedication from me. I invite everyone to participate in my goals. If you have a goal you believe I should accomplish, post it. I will decide to accept the challenge or not. I will be updating this blog as goals are accomplished or added. At the end of 2010, I will review my list and take pride in my achievements.

Here is the list so far:

1. Open a savings account
2. Save at least $1200 (not including 401k)
3. Take a vacation somewhere other than Cedartown or Kansas City
4. Start a new wardrobe (buy something new every other month and discard something every other month)
5. Lose 50 pounds
6. Go to someone's house for dinner (they must cook entire meal)
7. Start a scrapbook (from Mario)
8. Write a poem and perform at Lyric Cafe (from Mario)
9. Beat Clarence at a video game (from Mario)
10. Prepare one meal a week
11. Blog at least once a week
12. Start a gratitude journal
13. Take a vacation day once a quarter (without accessing Blackberry or laptop)

Lessons from the road

It's been a while since I posted a blog. It's been a crazy month. I have 4 out of the last 8 weeks traveling for business. I did learn a lot while I was away.

• Absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart grow lonely.
• It is possible to tire of fancy food. After 2 weeks of eating whatever you want, no matter the cost, you long for greens, corn bread, and even a turkey sandwich on Sara Lee bread.
• The nice hotel can make you smile. There is nothing like coming back from a 10 hour day of work to find your incense already lit, the air conditioner on your favorite setting, your bathroom counter clear of clutter and your bathroom awaiting on the bed.
• When you don't have to pay for gas, it's easy to fill up the tank. LOL
• When you work around new people you might not ever see again, it's really easy to be honest. Even if it hurts.
  
• The hotel room was 500 square feet. It had a kitchen, bedroom, kitchen table, and living room. Some people pay $1 million dollars for that. C'mon smart people. Don't do it!
• If the weather man says rain for a week, wear a pony tail. Give up. It's not worth the extra time.
  
• The grass is not greener on the other side. If someone thinks the grass is greener, they need to check because they are wearing someone else's glasses.
• When you are going to be away from home for three weeks, pack more than a week's worth of clothes.
• Juice is better than soda any day.
• When you call your spouse and both of you just listen to each other work without saying a word, but hold the phone, it's time to go home!
  
• Having two LED tvs within 1 feet of each other but only 5 HD channels is a WASTE OF PLASTIC!
• Going to Wal-mart every night can be an adventure. There are strange people out at night. Like, really really really strange people. Like, for real. Strange. Like, you have NEVER seen people like that before.
• When you haven't driven much in 4 years, 4 weeks of driving can send a person over the edge.
• Do not stop at gas stations if there is not a McDonalds around. It's probably a very small town where the population is all white and the most common occupation is agriculture. Yeah, they stop and look when a Black woman with an afro blasting gospel music pulls up. Stops. Looks around. Puts car in reverse. Heads to next exit. Yeah. I am not the one. Well, actually. I AM THAT ONE.
  
• It's time to go home when the housekeepers at the hotel start teaching you spanish so the conversation can be better.
• If anyone ever has to stay away from home for a long time, stay at Homewood Suites. Free breakfast and free dinner. Yeah, even if you never get to experience it because you work 10 hours. Just good to know they care.
  
• Living in Atlanta is not worth the rush hour traffic.
• Living in Atlanta is worth the worship experience. Thanks Dream Center Church. It was awesome.
  

....and last but not least, It's good to be home.

3/5 Human? Seriously?

So. This is what happened. Yesterday. September. 2009. Seriously. At work. No kidding.

I was preparing to leave for the day when a representative approached with a customer issue. The customer was demanding to speak with a 'manager who was a non black woman'. Initially, I laughed. I thought to myself 'Self, this is September. 2009. At work. Couldn't be.' I contemplated my choices. Should I stay at work longer, take this escalation, or go home and forget I had heard such statements? I looked at the representative who had answered the call. The young lady could not have been more than 20 years old. She had a blank look on her face. It was one of those 'Is this happening to me?' looks.

I had to take the call. If for no other reason, I had to do it for the young lady who had taken the call.

Let me back up and say this: I don't take calls. I don't take escalations. This is not apart of my job. It would be expected I ignore the escalation.

I take the headset from the representative, settle in for what I believe is going to be a long call, and say into the phone, "Hello. This is Rita Prior. How may I be of assistance to you?"

No kidding. This is some of what transpired.

Caller: Is that thing on the phone?
Me: This is Rita. How may I assist you?
Caller: I said, is that thing still on the phone?
Me: This is Rita. How may I assist you?
Caller: I pay my bill every month. I decide who I talk to. You do not decide who I talk to. I refuse to talk to that thing. She is not even human.
Me: How may I assist you with your device issue?
Caller: Transfer me to technical support.
Me: I understand your frustration when your device is not working properly. I will be happy to assist you. What exactly is the device doing, or not doing?
Caller: Just transfer me.
Me: I will be happy to transfer you. Prior to you speaking with another department, I need to fully understand the issue to ensure I connect you with someone who is able to resolve your issue.
Caller: You don't tell me who I can speak to. I tell you. Transfer me.
Me: I will get someone on the line now. Please explain what you are experiencing with your device.
Caller: Are you one of them?
Me: One of who?
Caller: One of those things. Like the one I was just talking to.
Me: My name is Rita. Please explain the issue you are having with your device.
Caller: You are one of those things. How dare you tell me who I can speak with. You are not even human. You are 3/5 human. Didn't you read the Constitution? Can you even read? You are a thing. You are a black woman. Black women are slothful and ignorant. You will not tell me who I can speak with. I am the human. Not you. Transfer me now, you thing!
Me: Please explain the issue you are having with your device.
Caller: You thing! You will transfer me now! You are ignorant. You are stupid. You are not human. How can a non human tell a human what to do? I will always tell you what to do. Transfer me now.

|Sidenote| At this point, I look at the young lady who originally took the call. I can see in her eyes I had to maintain this for her. I had to show her it is possible to overcome this type of ignorance.

Me: Mrs. _________, as I stated previously, I am able to transfer you to another department but not before knowing what issue you have.
Caller: I can not send picture messages, you thing.
Me: How long as this been a problem?
Caller: Since I bought the phone three months ago, you slothful, ignorant thing.
Me: Tell me exactly what happens when you attempt to send a message.
Caller: I will not talk to a non human. I want to talk to technical support now. You are the worst, ignorant, slothful, 3/5 human person I have ever talked to. You are beneath me. You are thing.

|The phone does dead|

Note to self: You are the author of the only dictionary able to define you.

Tennessee Trip

Last weekend we went to Tennessee to my family reunion. As with all family reunions, you mentally prepare yourself. We first realized we needed a very good hotel room. Truth be told, we really didn't plan on attending all the activities. I just really wanted to see my mom and brother, who were also planning on being at the reunion. We called the Holiday Inn first. My family use to stay there all the time when I was a kid and I remembered the great suites. So, we call them and ask a few very important questions.
1. Do you have room service?
2. Have your rooms been renovated recently?
3. Do you still have the suites with a detached living room and kitchen?

They answered all the questions with yes. We then called Double Tree. We asked the same questions. Unfortunately, the answer to number three was no. Because we were planning on spending a lot of time with family in our room, we wanted the extra space. Also, we always work while we are out of the office and we needed the extra room for laptops, printers, phones, etc. Oh, and Clarence needed space for the Xbox.

So, we reserved a room at Holiday Inn. We actually paid for the room in advance. Upon arriving at the hotel, it looked the same as I remembered. It was still spacious with the lounge in the middle and a stacked bar. As a kid, we would go and take up all the bar room asking for grape juice and sprite. LOL

Anyway, we take the elevator up to the fourth floor. I first notice the couches near the elevators. They look familiar. Could they be the same couches from the 1990s? No, couldn't be. Must be the same color. We arrive at our room and the wonderful breeze of the air conditioner hits us. We walk in, throw our bags down and then turn the lights on. What is this? Couldn't be? Yes, it is. Its the same furniture I remember from the 1990s. The same couch, lamps, tables, and even the same TV. Say its not so! Certainly they have plasma by now! No, they do not. Wait, I see something new. Yes, it is new. Finally. New lampshades and energy efficient bulbs. Way to go green, Holiday Inn. I finally realized. This is not a failure to renovate, this is a way to conserve our resources.

I call Chris, the front desk clerk.

Me: Chris?
Chris: Yes, do you like your room?
Me: I have been here before.
Chris: Oh, have you stayed in that room before?
Me: I don't know about the room but the couch, tables, lamps, and dresser have followed me from the 1990s. And this room is tiny. I need space. Where is the kitchen? Where is the dining room table?
Chris: Laughs
Me: I need an upgrade. What do you have?
Chris: Well, I do have a better room. But it's expensive.
Me: How much more?
Chris: $10 a night.
Me: (thinking to myself) Do I look that broke!?
Me: (to Chris) We will take it.
Chris: It's on the smoking floor.
Me: They still have those. I thought hotels were smoke free.
Chris: Laughs
Me: What room?
Chris: I will have the bell boy bring up the key.

So, we get the key and travel down two floors. We arrive to our new room (trying not to die on the smell). What awaits us? Yes! Bigger. Table. KitchenETTE. SAME FURNITURE. You have got to be kidding me. What also awaits? Two queen beds. I am married. I can sleep in KING beds now. But, we give up and take it.

We go to check out the hotel and talk to the manager about their environmentally conscience decorations (old). While we are talking, an Indian (dot, not feathers) woman is having an argument with another lady. She approaches the front desk and ask to use their phone to call to Dallas. They refuse her saying she cant make a long distance call. We try to reach the number from our cell phones. They didn't answer. What was the reason the hotel wouldn't let her call? She has been outside asking for money. Yeah. Okay.

We go outside to our car. As I am about to take pictures, I see a few ants on the door. I follow the ants trail and I see a HUGE amount of ants all over the front of the car. Of course, I am going crazy. I look inside the car and there are ants all over my seat. I am itching, jumping up and down, screaming. Yes, I went overboard. Clarence moves me out the way and start wiping ants out of the car. Apparently we parked in an ant hill.

Why am I itching just typing this?

Clarence tells me to get in so we can go vacuum the car. I refuse to get in the car. Finally, after I don't see any immediate ants on the seat, I jump in the back seat on the drivers side. We go to the dollar store to get ant spray. I used an entire bottle. They were everywhere. We then drive to a vacuum to get all the little dead ants out. It was horrible.

The night before we purchased a room online with priceline.com for our Memphis stay. We stayed at the downtown Marriott for $75. The rooms are normally $160. We park the car in the underground parking garage, unload all the bags, and head to the front desk. What is between us and the front desk. Escalators. Why is this an issue? I discover Clarence as a phobia of escalators. What happens? No, you cant guess this one. I get on the escalator first. I am at the top, waiting on Clarence. I am coaching him to put the bags on first, then step behind them. What happens? He lets go of the bags, steps on the escalator and hold on for dear life. Where are the bags? On the floor at the bottom of the escalator. What is in one of his bags? His Xbox. What do I have to do? Walk down the other side (which is not working) to retrieve the bags and ride back up. Yes. I am serious.

We arrive in our room and its nice. Nothing huge but nice. We make plans that didn't work out but decide to go ahead and enjoy our evening. We leave the hotel and spend the evening at a music festival and Beale Street. I will reveal more about that later.

So, I get back to Marriott and we find the elevators have been shut down after 11p. Are you kidding me? This is a hotel located a mile from Beale Street, attached to the Convention Center, near the baseball stadium, and you shut things down after 11p? How does that work? We wonder around the garage trying to find a way to our room. We finally find an elevator that will work. Where does it take us? The convention centers were the members of the National Baptist Convention are setting up for their conference.

We cant wait to upload my pictures on Facebook. Something is wrong. My laptop wont connect to the internet. I check the connection again and try again. It keeps bringing me to the Marriott's website. I call the nice people downstairs and advise them of my issues. Guess what? I have to pay for the internet. No, not just the internet, but for phone calls as well. Are you serious? Motel 6 has free WIFI and the Marriott doesn't? So, being the computer junkie we are, we pay $6 for unlimited internet. We refused to pay for phone calls. We have cell phones.

The next morning we hear banging on the door. What time is it? What is going on? Is there a problem? It's 9am. Wait, I hear someone opening the door, or at least trying to. It is the cleaning staff trying to get in. Check out is not until noon. Why are you bothering me at 9a? Clarence yells from the bed 'Go away. We are not ready to leave'. Does it work? Of course not. 10a. 11a. 11:30a. Knock. Knock. Key in. Door opens. Chain blocks. Yes, they continue to try to get in the room. What part of NOON does no one understand?

So, we pack to leave Memphis. Downstairs, we remember our issue. How does one get back to the garage without attempting the escalators. We try the elevator and find it does not work. We try another set. They do not work. Wait, what about the convention center elevators? No way through the crowd. The Baptist have taken over. Guess what we did? Yes, the escalators. Clarence went first, leaving the bags behind. I send the bags down for him to get off. Does he? Of course not. He was celebrating his victory of his escalator decent.

What did we learn from this trip? Do you NOT always get what you pay for!